swollen fingertips

So I bought a guitar last payday. It looks like this. Except blue. I am completely in love with it. I wish my guitar had big blue eyes so I could see tears of happiness when I get down on one knee to propose to it. I wish I could sit all day with my ear pressed to it's side and listen to the sounds of the gently plucked strings. I wish I could put it in my pocket and take it with me everywhere.

Ahem. Inside voice.

Anyway, I admit I'm obsessed. The whole thing started with a surprise anniversary party for my grandparents. They will have been married for 35 years this July (second marriage for both), and my family decided to host a surprise party for them, in Thunder Bay. Where they live. Where I'm going. With my new guitar. Why? Because two of my aunts and I decided it would be swell if I learned to play, and the three of us sing, their wedding song. And, god help me, I agreed. (I'll save my thoughts on the lyric 'When I feel blue/In the night' for another time.)

To be completely honest, I've always wanted to learn how to play - I've had a long-standing dream of being that cool kid around the campfire who takes requests - but now I'm faced with the stark, unfriendly reality of having three measly weeks to learn this song. It's not a particularly difficult song. I understand the chord progression. I've memorized the changes and the form and the lyrics. I can sing the melody AND the harmony lines so that I can teach my aunts. I just can't play the darn thing yet without painful start-and-stop chord searching. I know I've been playing for a whopping six days, for a total of about five hours, but I think I might be guitar-challenged. I'm doing terrible things to my left wrist and I know it, but I can't play the chords yet without looking at the strings. And in order to see the stupid strings, I have to tilt the guitar's butt away from me at about a 45 degree angle so that I can accommodate my stupid boobs, which means my left wrist has to twist in a ridiculous fashion to wrap around the neck. sigh. First highland dancing, then soccer, now this. Stupid boobs. I need to find a large-breasted female guitarist who can give me tips on how SHE learned to cope. Anyone out there know someone they can recommend?

PS Spell Check wanted me to replace 'boobs' with 'Bob's'. That's funny.